I’m not as easily intimidated as I used to be. Ask the Guardian of Shopping Carts at Wal-Mart. Due to the new swine flu (which seems remarkably like the Hong Kong Flu that went around when I was in 8th grade) some stores provide wipes to wipe off shopping carts. Wal Mart moved their wipe station from where the carts are in the vestibule to inside the second set of double doors where they used to line up the carts for the Guardian of Shopping Carts to dispense. There are no carts in that area anymore. So, you have to grab your cart which is presumed dirty, push it through the second set of automatic doors, grab a wipe, and wipe your cart. This makes about as much sense as showering before running a marathon.
So my cart washing routine has been to walk all the way into the store, get a wipe, walk back through the automatic doors to the carts, wash off one, and shop. I do this with a disgusted expression. While performing my routine a week or so ago, the Cart Guardian became huffy. “Ma’am,” he informed me in a superior tone , “we have the wipes in there for a reason – so this area doesn’t get backed up.” Since he and I were the only sentient beings in the vestibule, the line of shoppers waiting for me to wash off my cart before they could get theirs was strictly imaginary.
When I was younger, I would have been abashed, angry, and at a loss for words. I would have gone home and fussed and fumed and come up with 33 clever replies that occurred to me later. Without even thinking, I said, “Well, too bad. What good does it do to handle your cart and then wash it off?” I felt a bit guilty because I know I am supposed to be a religious person who is nice to everyone and that response wasn’t overly polite. Still, there is no rational argument. The new set up might make traffic flow easier, but the genius who came up with the idea forgot about the reason for having the cart wipes in the first place.
2) Practice for singing.
3) Wrap any presents purchased for
