Nouns and Verbs

The ancient people who created the English language must have had a working knowledge of dogs. As I sit down to write my blog, my lab, who hasn’t had his walk today, keeps bumping my arm and whining. I am being HOUNDED. If tomorrow is a typical day, I will take the dog for a walk first thing. Then, he will want to come inside and follow me, right on my heels, as I go from room to room cleaning. If I go in the bathroom, he will be waiting immediately outside the door. My footsteps will be DOGGED until I get fed up with him and send him out.

(Max picking carrots for himself in the garden. I guess he is getting ready for the millenium???)

Anyone who has ever seen horses romping with each other on a fine spring day will understand why no HORSEPLAY is allowed at the swimming pool. And a person who has heard a donkey braying may see a marked resemblance to the church speaker who is a little full of himself. I would venture to guess that this genre of speakers was where the ancient linguists first noticed similarities between human and donkey behavior. While my sense of delicacy restrains me from mentioning the three letter word for a donkey, I regret to say that I myself have applied that noun to various and sundry acquaintances.

There is one animal name that is completely off-base. That is “deer.” Deer are definitely NOT “dear.” They leave memorabilia of their presence all over my lawn. In the spring they wiped out half of my corn crop. I diligently cultivated, weeded, and watered the remainder in the hopes that we might get a few ears of corn. It looked like we might until Friday. Thursday night one or more of the reprobates came into the corn patch and sauntered down each row taking a bite or two out of every ear. Nope. Deer are NOT “dear.”