Modern Medicine

When I have dealings with the medical community the following thought often runs through my little brain, “I am dealing with a lunatic.” 

This thought has romped through my mind when I have sat in the doctor’s office, the naturopath's office, the x-ray department, and at the hospital.

Scene 1

At the “imaging” place of business.  I have just been called in for a follow up mammogram because they saw SOMETHING on my mammogram.

X ray Tech:  See this little mark here on the mammogram?  That hasn't been there before.  That's why we need a follow up mammogram.

Me:  See this mole?

X ray Tech:  Oh!  (Realizes she didn't see it until I pointed it out.)   Well, no.  I don‘t think that is it. What we saw was lower in the picture. 

X Ray Tech puts a marker on the mole so it will show up on the “image.”

Me (thinking):  Oh that’s right!  Every other time I've had a mammogram, they have put one or two of those markers on me.  This time the Tech didn't put any markers on.  Of course, this room is so dark, she probably couldn't see a flesh colored mole.  Sure makes a lot of sense to keep your Mammogram room so dark that the Tech can’t see if she needs to mark anything.

X Ray Tech (lining me up in the machine):   Oh that mole does line up with the spot when you are in the equipment!  I bet it was the mole we saw in the picture! 

Tech proceeds to shoot three more pictures ordered by the doctor anyway.  Then she has the Doc look at the images online.  He pronounces all to be fine and directs me to come back in a year for another shot of radiation to my chest.

Me (thinking):  I am dealing with lunatics.  You will not see me here again.  I am done with radiation shots to my chest in the name of good health.  Yes, yes I know you told me currently 80% of women are get breast cancer, so mammograms are vital.  Anyone ever thought about checking up on the estrogen based birth control the medical profession hands out like candy as a cause of breast cancer?  Or how about years of radiation exposure from your Mammograms?  No! No! We cannot even consider those as causes!

Scene 2

I am at the OBGYN, eight months pregnant with Prudence.  All through the pregnancy, my iron has been lower than the medical pros would like.  After having the iron in prenatal vitamins give me diarrhea, I abandoned them.  My mother has been home the last month, and she has been cooking lots of roasts, which I, a young, married poor person, have been enjoying.

Doctor (looking at blood work):  Well, I see that iron is finally starting to kick in.

Me:  I haven’t been taking it.  It gives me diarrhea.

Doctor (menacing): Well, you better start taking it!

Me (thinking):  I am dealing with a lunatic.  I already told the doctors in this practice about my difficulty with iron.  There is no point in trying to tell him the facts of the situation.  I'm no good at arguments, and he doesn't want the facts to get in the way of his practicing medicine.

Scene 3

I have just had a baby at the hospital.  The nurse is putting sterile pads on me.  She drops one on the floor, picks it up, and starts for me.

Me:   You are going to put a pad on me that has been on the floor ? 

Me (thinking):  Hospitals, the place of infection control???  I am dealing with a lunatic.

I could write many more scenes, but this post is long enough.