When I’m having a bad day:
- I remind myself that I have five fabulous children with loads of goodness, talent, parenting skills, intelligence, and accomplishments. But this really doesn’t help much because parents never really know if children turn out well in spite of them or because of them.
- I take a hot bath. I wash my hair and make weird hairdos with the shampoo suds. Then I pretend I’m sporting the weirdest of my shampoo hairdos in the Miss America contest. I try to imagine the judges’ faces as they see me strut across the stage in an evening gown with my weird hairdo.
- I draw mustaches on the models in my clothing catalogs and black out their teeth. I have even been known to draw thighs on them that qualify for liposuction.
- I ponder the question: Would it REALLY be so bad if a 58 year old mother of five adult children decided to start sucking her thumb?
- I remind myself that in 1777 John Adams didn’t think George Washington was much of a general. Adams was wrong.
- I remind myself that I’m unique. I may not be important, wanted, or liked, but no one can argue that I’m not an original.
- I put all the Hershey bars underneath a heavy bucket in the basement, for the sake of my thighs and my digestion.
- I plan a canoe trip down the Green River.
- I write notes on toilet paper to people I'm mad at and flush them.
- I chant over and over, “This too shall pass. This too shall pass.” And I shout “Hurray!” when it does.
4 comments:
Love it mom!! I like to erase the nose and eyes off the magazine models. You are definitely important, wanted, and liked! because I read think I am going to start making funny hairdos out of my kids sudsy hair! I can't wait!
You are so fun! I can never come up with so many funny and clever ways to get over a bad day! Although I do tell myself "this too shall pass" frequently!
Rolling on the floor laughing.
So I'm reading this during a break at work, trying really hard not to laugh out loud with laughter tears forming in my eyes. I love you!
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