I am Montana-Native Endangered Species, and I am a
recovering critiholic. My problems began
with my upbringing in a critical home.
However, taking responsibility for my own thoughts and actions is the
first step in breaking the addiction cycle.
Therefore, I know my upbringing is no excuse for stigmatizing people as
pompous bores when they run meetings over the time allowed.
One way I am trying to improve is refraining from murmured comments about driving that I find annoying. My
standard mumbled comment to a driver who cut me off or waited five seconds to
proceed through a green light used to be, “Are you drunk or something?” This practice
of murmured comments seemed harmless enough until I made a driving error. When
I goofed, I vividly remember little Prudence asking me, “Are you drunk or
something?” I couldn’t help but wonder then if the
cultivation of a little more patience and a little less criticism might be in
order.
Now that I’m older than the hills and twice as dusty, as the
saying goes, I’m giving myself permission to let up on my own blunders a bit
when it comes to criticizing. Leaving a cup
of sugar out of the cookie recipe and feeding an entire spool of thread onto
the vacuum cleaner brush enough doesn’t precisely qualify me as an idiot…I
hope.
I have no doubt that vanquishing criticism will be good for
my character. But the problem of what
reaction I should have to annoyances and irritations remains. For example, how would be the best way to deal
with someone who is constantly making me wait.
Should I paste a false smile on my face, go on tranquilizers and lie, “No
problem at all. I LIKE waiting in the foyer
of a restaurant for 20 minutes.” Should I
be honest and convey in a kind way that my enthusiasm for waiting for the chronically
late is equal to my enthusiasm for bread mold?
One coping strategy I have created has entertainment
value. Keeping with the example of the
chronically late, it would be amusing to tell the person to arrive a half hour
before I actually plan on meeting them.
Then when they arrive fifteen minutes after the appointed time, I could
conceal myself and observe their novel experience as they wait for me. Instead of being irritated, I would gain satisfaction and enjoyment.
3 comments:
Change can be fun! I am going to remember that! I am constantly requiring it my children, but I should also require is of myself.
I like this idea. I remember when I first started to be able to laugh at my mistakes, it really did free me from a lot of embarrassments. Learning to accept the weaknesses of others is still a battle, though.
I think everyone on the planet suffers from being critical. You never told me that driving story before! How funny! I never remember you saying those words to drivers.
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