Retroactively Embarrassed

At church, I work with girls 12-18. It’s a lot of fun, and I love being able to do it. Naturally, some of the girls occasionally behave like toads. They’re kids, and kids behave like toads sometimes. Although, I wish I could warn the girls about retroactive embarrassment.

Retroactive embarrassment can hit at any time. You’ll be a young mother with four children at home. While making lunch for the kids during an ordinary day, Splat!!!! You will remember the time you made panty length cut-offs out of your yellow polyester pants and then rode your bicycle all over town - bending over all the way. Nice!!

Or you let your mind wander while you are doing a little innocent dusting, and before you know it you are at 9th grade cheerleading try-outs. The memory of falling flat on your rear-end during the tryouts will play on the screen of your mind in technicolor color. Or rushing back through time, you feel the embarrassment you should have felt (but didn’t have sense enough to) when you took the sacrament at church and said in a loud stage whisper, “Oh! That’s refreshing!” Clowning around that got a laugh with a group of nine-year-olds takes on a whole new meaning at 51.

I would have made a gargantuan effort keep my stupid teenage behavior to a minimum if I had known how memories tag along at a person’s heels. And some memories do NOT seem to dim with age. Memories are accompanied by feelings. If they weren’t, they would just be pictures in the mind. Feeling the public display of you imperfections - Ouch!

I never could see what use any of my retroactive embarrassment was until I started teaching the teenagers. Now, I see it has its uses. A memory of my past embarrassing behavior helps keep perspective with a kid in the midst of bratty moment. How could I not try to be understanding? Was I perfect at age 15? For that matter, am I perfect now? I want my retroactive embarrassment to increase my tolerance. People put up with the me and my lousy behavior. Bless them!