Contrariness

A few weeks ago, someone told me of a church leader who had laid down the law to women in the area where he presides. He told the women that they were always to wear nylons to church and could not wear flip flops or sandals. Now, I am not a fan of bare legs at church, but if the temperature is over 95 degrees, I’ve been known to abandon nylons. I think flip flops at church are tacky, but not any tackier than the deacons wearing tennis shoes and white socks with their dress pants. What amuses me more than church apparel is the idea that someone would lay down a dress code based on his personal opinion. I thought everyone knew that a decree of this nature is all that is needed to inspire every teenage girl in earshot to purchase new flip flops and send her nylons through the shredder.

In addition to teenagers, there are always a few oldsters like me that are in search of extra entertainment. What could be more entertaining than a leader that would send you, at age 56, home to change your clothes? And what could be more convenient than a nice afternoon nap and an excuse to take one? Changing clothes is so exhausting.

As far as nylons go, anyone demanding nylons be required apparel should be required to wear them for eight hours a day for five days in a row. The nylon promoter should also be required to wash them, not mention running out to purchase a new pair when runs appear. Any men taking this challenge will have a measure of credibility with me concerning nylons.

Even in a fit of contrariness, I probably wouldn’t wear flip flops because they hurt my toes and couldn’t accommodate my orthotics. Still, I think a big orange flower pinned to the top of each of my rubber Keen sandals might be cute. I wouldn’t be averse to abandoning nylons and wearing this unique foot wear with my blue suit if I got to watch someone throw a tantrum over it. Decrees are tricky things. I’ve noticed those at the top are mighty careful about issuing them. They are an example to us all.