Wherein I Substitute Teach

About a half hour after my Webelos left on Thursday night, the phone rings. It is “Sub Finder” the School District’s program to line up substitutes. I accept the job which runs from 7:25 a.m. to 3:35 p.m. I am more than a little nervous because the class is mostly for Resource, kids who are having problems. I’ve never even been in a Resource room before.

I arrive a half hour early per substitute teaching orientation instructions and find that the 7:25 am included a half hour early arrival time. No one is in the office and the school handyman hands me the substitute folder. I sit on the step outside the room and read through the folder to see what I am supposed to do for the day. And I almost burst into tears. I am supposed to be taking charge of some severely handicapped children according to the instructions, which don’t even have the right date on them.

A custodian lets me into my classroom and I find another substitute folder. I spend 45 minutes trying to make sense of how these two folders fit together. 15 minutes until the bell rings. I am starting to panic. I ask a teacher walking by for help. She tells me to ask the paraprofessional. The paraprofessional comes in and is stymied too until she realizes that the handyman gave me the substitute folder for the other Mrs. C. I try to restore my pulse to a normal rate.

The resource classes weren’t too bad. I wonder if all the kids are really having difficulty. Some of them just refuse to work. No one is going to tell them what to do. One resource class has a male paraprofessional who rides herd on it. The class is all boys with behavior problems. Some of those boys are large and handsome, one is very obese. What on earth happened to these kids to create these problems, I wonder.

In one class, I am supposed to demonstrate arithmetic on the board. It’s been a while since I have done division by hand. It sure would have been nice to know that this was an Arithmetic resource classroom. I need to brush up.

The 6th and 7th period class is “regular,” but naughty and loud, according to the paraprofessional. I didn’t see so much naughty, as I saw bursting with energy. We spend one class period reading out loud and trying to discuss Art in Space. I wonder how such enthusiastic, creative kids ever stand this. The last period they read The Lightening Thief out loud. Then the day is done. I write a report for the teacher and go home. I am exhausted!