Profiles In Courage No. 1

Whenever the mood strikes me, I am going to write about courageous people, according to my definition of courage. Movies stars, fortune 500 CEOs, and prominent political figures will never appear here. There are a lot of courageous people that might never be famous and probably don’t even want to be. But they have higher qualifications than many of the rich and famous when it comes to being classified as courageous. Here is my number one courageous person:

Wilbur was born in Spokane, Washington. When Wilbur was young, the family moved around quite often. His father had very different goals than his mother. I understand his father had dreams of becoming wealthy and raising horses. The church or the gospel did not figure strongly in these goals. Periodically, Wilbur’s father would tell his mother to leave, and she would be forced to move home with her family. When Wilbur was four, his parents divorced. Wilbur says he has no recollection of his father and mother ever being together

When Wilbur was seven, his mother remarried. Before long, his stepfather began physically abusing Wilbur and his brothers, particularly his oldest brother. After a few years of this, Wilbur’s Dad took Wilbur’s two older brothers to live with him. I remember Wilbur saying he wanted to go so badly, but he was not permitted to go. He had to stay with his younger sister and brother from the first marriage and continue to endure the abuse. When he was around sixteen, he wrestled his step father off of his younger brother and put his stepfather in a headlock. He asked, “How does it feel to be on the bottom for change?” Later, Wilbur was very glad he didn’t go with his older brothers because his mother was dedicated to the gospel and he was able to attend church with her and gain a testimony. At the time, though, he was devastated.

An ordinary person might use these experiences as an excuse to beat his children, flunk out of school, become inactive, become moody and depressed, be irresponsible, or to become a failure. Not Wilbur. He was and is a wonderful father. He was kind to all his children. He played with them, laughed with them, commiserated with them, and loved them. He started his own business when he was 29 and made it successful. People in general like Wilbur. He is comfortable within his own skin. He is funny and fun. He is almost always pleasant to be around.

Wilbur was athletic. He played baseball, basketball, football, and showed some talent in distance running. His parents did not ever attend one of his games. His step father told him often that participation in sports was stupid. He stopped running distance in order to work because if he didn’t he would not have a dime to even go to the movies. As a Senior, he and another boy were told they’d made the varsity basketball team only to be cut a week or so later. The two boys got to keep the shoes the team had already outfitted them with as a condolence gift.

An ordinary person with these experiences might be bitter about sports. An ordinary person might hate sports and athletes and refuse to let his kids participate. An ordinary person might decide to use these experiences to justify why he doesn’t think he should have to go to his children’s sports, church, or school events. Not Wilbur. He said he got to play more basketball by being cut because if he had played varsity he couldn’t have participated on the church basketball team. At school, he would have sat the bench a lot of the time. At church, he was one of the best players and was in the game most of the time. He attended his children’s sports, music, school, and church events. He drove on temple trips and school music trips. He paid for sports camps, something he longed to attend when he was a kid, and music camps. His kids were in EVERYTHING, and he came to a large percentage of everything.

After high school, Wilbur decided to go on a mission, although previously he hadn’t wanted to go. He worked for Cal Wardell as a hod carrier and saved money to go. He was called to the New England Mission and served two years. But the two years were not without stress. He was so strapped for money that he was worried he might have to return home. In letters, his elderly grandparents offered help. John Wardell sent him $100 one Christmas. He was incredibly grateful to have these gifts. He made it through, and completed his mission.

An ordinary person might decide that he would give his children serving missions the same amount of monetary support that he received. Not Wilbur. He wanted to help his missionaries serve. He cheerfully earned the money and supported his children on missions. He was filled gratitude that he could pay. Unbeknownst to other people until now, he contributed to the ward mission fund for another missionary whose family had an emergency and couldn’t pay.

Wilbur continues to be courageous as he deals with a bulging disk that is causing him to limp but goes to work every day. He is courageous in many other ways, but a blog can only be so long. I need to mention Wilbur’s wife. She is nobody’s fool when it comes to choosing husbands. She was darn smart in choosing him.