My Television Education

I’m getting smarter all the time thanks to television.  Only this week I learned that aliens from space are the most likely source of Leonardo da Vinci’s genius.  For two years da Vinci didn’t write much in his journal, but he did mention a cave he visited.  So the only rational conclusion is that da Vinci held conclaves in the cave with aliens from space during those two years. The aliens showed him the future and introduced him to revolutionary ideas.  Either the aliens taught da Vinci everything he knew, or they downloaded the information into his brain.  The History Channel experts are not clear on this point.   

According to the History Channel’s sources, who propound their hypotheses with certainty as well as a straight face, the aliens imparted this information for the purpose of speeding up mankind’s technological progression.  I learn something new every day.

While da Vinci’s dealings with space aliens are interesting, they play second fiddle to present-day adventures with Sasquatch.  One day as I tried to find something worth watching on my 100 channels of satellite TV, I stumbled on a program with modern-day Sasquatch hunters – in Kansas.  Nothing is more likely than Sasquatch hiding out in Kansas. This theory explains completely why hunters can never find the elusive creature in Washington, Oregon, or British Columbia.  Sasquatch has been concealing himself in Kansas all along.

In a discussion of educational television, I would not want to overlook an enlightening program that deals with a geologist on his search for the Holy Grail in the United States.  My elementary school teachers completely misled me.  They taught me in 6^th grade that the Holy Grail was a myth created during the middle ages.  To hear the geologist tell it, there is nothing more certain than the existence of a Holy Grail which the Knights Templar decided to hide in Minnesota or was it Maine?  After the Last Supper, I would have thought that the individuals providing the upper room would have washed all the dishes, making it hard to figure out who used which grail.  It just goes to show how logical thinking has no place in science or television.

After my television learning experiences, I wait with bated breath to view the next bit of television science or history.  What next will I learn?  The Eiffel Tower was in reality designed to be intergalactic starship?  Neanderthals govern a province in Upper Canada?  Atlantis is alive and well and located under an ice sheet at the North Pole?  Anything is possible in a television education.